THE CONTRADICTIONS IN MY LIFE

I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in the Christian orthodoxy by which I was raised

I do believe in safe sex, but I do sometimes I have unsafe sex

I don’t like kidney, but I do like liver

I don’t suffer fools gladly, but do behave like a fool myself

I don’t ask after my godson enough, but I do treasure him in my life

I don’t do the gym, but I do do the cyling thing every day

I don’t have enough sex, but I do enjoy the little I get

I don’t have a boyfriend, but I do have good best friends

I don’t send greeting cards, but I do get narked not to get any

I don’t read the sports pages, but I do like lyrca clad sportsmen

I don’t do fanny, but I do like good tits

I don’t dig muffins, but I do do biscuits, lots and lots of them

These are the contradictions in my life

They make me what I am ... an imperfect work in progress